The last ARTICLE

Excuse me, I just came back from the hospital -_____-“
Thank you for your personal messages, and sorry for not answering to others because I’m in a hurry and tired.
I don’t understand the followers who say “don’t do it !” It’s nice but you don’t know me.
I am sorry to have worry you, making cried my friends and fuckin’ family. blablablaaah~  I think it’s stupid…
Aaaaah, I would like to develop a little more but I’m not English.
But this time I go to sleep forever. I wanted to give you my book on hide and my “plush hide” but I don’t know your address.

See my book, my tattoo : D, my key ring and my plush ahah ^^”

FRANCAIS : Je veux CREVER. Je déteste mon corps, mon sexe, ma famille, le principe même de la vie (grandir, travailler, fonder une famille, oh mon dieu ! quelle horreur). Je déteste l’amour, surtout le sexe O__O” (asexuel et misanthrope).
Je tiens à préciser, je ne meurs pas pour rejoindre hide, juste parce que j’en ai assez de tout ça. J’ai jamais demandé à naitre.
Les seules choses que j’éprouve sont : la haine et le dégout. Bref il est temps d’en finir. Cette vie a assez duré. Au revoir~~

Anonyme asked: please, don't do it. please! thing about all the people that loves you, and not only your friends and family, your followers loves you. please! i know what are you thinking now, some years ago i wanted to kill myself but i'm still here. please, talk with somone that you love, please don't do it. a big big big hug. be strong, i love you. remember that everything is gonna be ok. i love you.

See “The last ARTICLE”

a-pinkspider asked: Believe me.. I know the feeling. I know I cant stop you if you want to do so... but please think it carefully maybe everything seems dark now but nothing is forever pain, desillusion and even mistakes are included. My dear friend if you do that I'll feel bad forever... Now i don't see anything than darkness but I keep living with the illusion than everything will be better I know it will happen with you if you call to an hospital now, you're not alone please... i'm here, please dont do it

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Anonyme asked: people commit mistakes but that doesnt mean that you don't deserve to live... everything have solution but death doesnt... please stop it

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thexcrossxroads-deactivated2012 asked: Hi there. I know you don't know me but I just wanted you to know how wonderful your blog is and I am so sad to see you wanting to die. I know that hide would not want to see you suffering. I've been depressed for a very long time and always have had thoughts of suicide and I hate to see you in pain. Even if we do not know each other I can see you are a beautiful person. Your passion for hide is so amazing and we all love you for it. Please stay with us. hide would want you to live and we do to

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a-pinkspider asked: ok. This is not ok, i know a bit of french really bad by the way but if you want to talk with me please do it... there's a solution for everything... but no for death.

See “The last ARTICLE”

a-pinkspider asked: maybe you think nobody will care about it... but you are important for me, no for the pics, because you, the person behind the blog...

I don’t want to live, I took 30 tablets of 10mg valiulm.
 I must to write sms to my friends and then stab my neck and die in my bed
 I hate life, I detested love, sex, and my family. I don’t deserve to live.

Say Goodbye ♫

This is my last article. I wanted to thank you for being so many to visit this blog.
It was really a pleasure to share these images of hide with you!
 … I will not return on tumblr because I … I’m too tired. Tired of living.
I know it’s stupid and pathetic but before I die like a shit, I prefered to share these pictures rather than throwing them away.
So it’s time to say goodbye dear followers ! No, it’s not a fuck*ng joke and I don’t want pity. I just want to sleep for ever. Au revoir ~~

ピンクスパイダー 「翼が欲しい」


Only thing i’m gonna post about hide’s funeral along with another old scan magazine i posted months ago that you can find here :
I’ve been asked about this several times.. yes, i attended his funeral.

In fact, this tumblr used to be my personal one where i shared my thoughts about hide, a few photos and on but it wasn’t a ‘fan-blog’. Then, i started to share many pictures and it came out to be what it is now but sometimes i think about deleting it.

You can ask me whatever you want about hide’s funeral, i feel strong enough now to talk about it but don’t ask me to share any other photos, i simply won’t, it is too personal and i can’t even look at them ; more than a decade after it is still really painful for me to watch photos and videos of that day.


I will not judge his death because I didn’t know him.And I think that the circumstances of his death will always remain a mystery.


I will not judge his death because I didn’t know him.
And I think that the circumstances of his death will always remain a mystery.

(Source : j-music-confessions)